Here Without You, Moka
by XxLillieFlowerxX
Summary: It's been 2 years, since Moka disappeared from Ichigo's life. Depressed and heartbroken, Ichigo thinks about how much he wants to see her again and how much he secretly loves her. Short story. Related to Rosario Diaries series. IchigoXMoka


**Here Without You, Moka**

* * *

It was cold. It was so cold in that tiny room, he lived in. He lied sprawled on his bed, staring up at the dark ceiling, under the covers. He had hoped for at least warmth, but luck just didn't seem to be on his side. Yet more cold air spilled through the wide open window. Despite it, he didn't have the energy, or heart to shut it.

Ichigo hated this month. The month of December. It reminded him of Moka...his heart and soul. It was the same month that he couldn't stop Moka from leaving Karakura, after the defeat of Aizen. He didn't understand why she would leave, without saying goodbye to him, or the others. She had disappeared on the same day, that Rukia disappeared. Even though, Rukia came back half a year later, that still didn't change anything for him. It wasn't that he wasn't happy to see Rukia, he was still upset over one thing. Moka still hasn't come back and it's only been 2 years.

He slumped, elbows on his knees. It was so frustrating to him. 2 years, not even a postcard, no form of contact at all. Did she just expect him to go on, forgetting that she ever existed? Ichigo didn't even know how to forget someone_..._let alone if it's the person he loves.

Why couldn't he shake the thought of her? She was always in his head. That scene, over and over, like a rerun on television, projected on the inside of his eyelids every time he blinked. The way she wouldn't look at him until she felt him slipping away, the hitch in her breath when she finally met his eyes, the unsaid words she obviously wanted to tell him left in her mouth. He wished she'd said something. Hell, he wished _he'd _said something.

Feeling the cold breeze brush against his skin, he found himself angry. Not only at the cold, but at Moka herself, for walking out of his life. He didn't even get a chance to do anything with her. The most depressing part about it, is that he didn't even get a chance to tell he love her, before he let her slip from his fingers.

**A hundred days have made me older**

**Since the last time that I saw your pretty face**

He remembered to 2 years ago, when Moka made her first appearance in school, with a beautiful smile on her face.

**A thousand lies have made me colder**

He remembered all the lies Moka told him, his family, and all of his friends about herself. Who could blame her? She didn't have a choice in the matter.

**And I don't think I can look at this the same**

**But all the miles that separate**

**Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face**

He remember how she walked away to Los Noches alone, without glancing back to him.

**I'm here without you, baby**

He remembered how he searched high and low, everyday for Moka, after he recovered from a few injuries from defeating Aizen.

**But you're still on my lonely mind**

**I think about you, baby**

He remembered he would always think about her, everywhere he went.

And** I dream about you all the time**

He remembered how he would always see her in his dreams, smiling beautifully at him.

**I'm here without you, baby**

**But you're still with me in my dreams**

He remembered how he would hug her in his dreams, like he always wanted to.

**And tonight it's only you and me**

Ichigo walked along the roads of Karakura Town, letting the snow fall gracefully around him as he walked.

**The miles just keep rollin'**

**As the people leave their way to say hello**

As he walked, he saw a figure of Moka standing, like a few miles from him. Not believing his eyes, he double-checked to see, if she was really there. Sadly, he was mistaken, when he saw that she wasn't there.

**I've heard this life is overrated**

**But I hope that it gets better as we go**

**I'm here without you, baby**

**But you're still on my lonely mind**

He took the black ying-yang symbol, that was dangling from around his neck between his fingers. He stared at it, thinking about Moka. She had given this to him as a present, 2 years ago. He had half of her, she had half of him.

**I think about you, baby**

**And I dream about you all the time**

**I'm here without you, baby**

**But you're still with me in my dreams**

**And tonight, girl, its only you and me**

**Everything I know, and anywhere I go**

As he walked, he remembered how hard it was to finish school, without her being there with him.

**It gets hard but it won't take away my love**

He remembered how he and his friends graduated and she wasn't there to congratulate him.

**And when the last one falls**

**When it's all said and done**

**It gets hard but it wont take away my love**

He looked up towards the sky, watching the snow fall. He remember that this is Moka's favorite month of the year. December.

**I'm here without you, baby**

**But you're still on my lonely mind**

**I think about you, baby**

**And I dream about you all the time**

**I'm here without you, baby**

**But you're still with me in my dreams**

**And tonight, girl, its only you and me**

Ichigo missed her. He missed a lot more, than he thought he did. At this point, he'd expected to forget a little, her image in his mind to be blurred somehow, but it was quite the opposite. She became sharper, more acutely defined in his memories. He kept remembering stuff about her: small things he hadn't even known he noticed when she was around. The smell of her. The way she smiled and how she made her facial expressions. For 2 years, he had longed to hear her voice in his ears. Her voice was like the sound of silver bells, ringing for a reason to be set free. He missed the strawberry scent that lived in her pink, bubblegum. He missed how he would always call her "Princess Bubblegum" and that she would get upset at him, for calling her that. Ichigo let out a chuckle. He didn't see why not. The two of them both had the same hair color and the two of them acted slightly similar, so there was no reason for her to be upset over it.

"I love you, Moka." he said as if he were talking to Moka, even though she wasn't there. "I'll find you someday, Moka. I promise. And when I do, I won't ever let you slip from my fingers again. Never."

* * *

**Of course this is related to Rosario Diaries. If want another one with Ichigo and Moka reuniting with one another, just let me know. The song is called Here without you by Three Doors Down**


End file.
